Burlesque (2010)

Titillating, Charming, Fun, fast and sexy. All of those things describe Burlesque, that is, the style and subculture, not the 2010 film starring early 2000's flavour of the month Christina "Xtina" Aguilera and pop legend Cher.

I could go in to detail of the plot, however it's just one you've seen a thousand times, just a small town girl, living in lonely world took the midnight train to L.A. where she unbelievingly talks herself into working for a financially unsuccessful (Dispite it always being full of clients and customers) "Burlesque club". Not quite the urban fairytale you've heard before? well that's because under the façade of the music and Caberet style of REAL Burlesque, a rose tinted glance at New York and Chicago club dancers and showgirls, this film slips 2 pop stars into the mix and tells you it's stylish.

There is an element where I must confess that being a guy watching this doesn't help, but is that an excuse? surely a movie with such subject matter would offer some cheap thrill titillation, tongue in cheek glimpses of the female anatomy that manages to entertain the guys while not being smutty right? RIGHT? Well. No. With young Xtina having not much of a shape to her and Cher overdoing the plastic surgery, plus none of the extra cast members being anything special to look at either (though pretty in their own way) this film wasn't very sexy at all, just imitation glamour.

So another forgettable "little girl in big LA" story giving musicals a bad name, we are desperate for the new Rocky Horror, Chicago or Hedwig and the Angry Inch, until one of those comes along, this movie has spoilt my appetite for musicals for a little while.

Conclusion? Avoid at all costs,Cher is well and truly over the hill and Christina's charatcter just isn't likeable enough. It pains me to say that if you want glitz and glamour, go watch Sex In The City, though not my cup of tea it knew what it was doing, and was harmless to everything not in the genre, where as this piece takes the guise of a beloved subculture as well as being a musical, and while I cannot say that Cher and Aguilera are bad singers, the songs in the film are dull and repetitive, hoping the more they say "Burlesque" the more the film will BE Burlesque. Untrue. 2/10