Flash Gordon

Perhaps one of the most insane, idiotic and unashamably hilarious films I have ever seen. For the most part, Flash is depicted as an unbearable idiot. Here is a man with the expression of a lemming and the IQ of a puddle, who we are to get behind and support as he takes down an evil empire. How does he take it down? Well, with blind luck, mainly.

Everything about the film is dated and budget. The aesethetics are garish and laughable. The action scenes are among the stupidest I have ever seen. When Flash uses his 'American Football Powers' to beat back the armed to the teeth guards, I thought my stomach was going to explode. The heroine is a wimp, yet manages to beat up about six guards using nothing by hiding behind things at ninety degree angles from the guards, the supporting cast look like they want to be somewhere else (yes you, Timothy Dalton) and who could blame them? 

It's obtained a cult following, and probably rightly so, but I can't really see myself wanting to see this film ever again, even out of novelty value. So bad, it's good. Then bad again.

3/10

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

In this sixth instalment of the world-beating little wizard franchise, the teenage angst is all over the place as Harry, Ron and Hermione experience their first loves, and some bits and pieces involving wizardry, apparently.

The most noticeable thing about this film is how little it seems to really contribute in terms of originality to the series. Up until this point, each film seemed to serve a purpose. They ideas were fresh enough, the dynamics changed enough, and there were usually enough new characters to keep things ticking over. Despite the addition of Jim Broadbent's master of potions, it's all very familiar. It really is just another year at Hogwarts – another quiditch game, another flashback to Tom Riddle, another visit to that alley everyone likes, and despite the film involving perhaps the most significant event in the books chronology to date, past the two hour mark I was too indifferent to care.

Visually, on a par with the others, but for supposedly one of the 'darker' of the films, it's all a bit too safe and comfortable for Harry for the most part, and the climax left me feeling fairly unimpressed. The fans will love it, but for me this might be the weakest of the series to date. I will remember the Half-Blood Prince as the one before the two part finale, and nothing more.

5/10

The Green Mile

The Green Mile is the second of what I suppose you could call a trilogy of films adapted from Stephen King stories by Frank Darabont. After the critical and commercial success of the film that is currently sitting on top of IMDBs Top 250 (Shawshank Redemption), The Green Mile is another human, emotional journey, with an added fantastical edge. Set in a 30s detentions centre for those on death row, the green mile is the last place those committed to die call home.

Despite a mammoth three hour run time, it never seems to drag. The characterisation of the main characters, and the performances from Hanks and Clarke Duncan, are fantastic, both showing strength and insecurity in equal measure. The film dares to show those on death row, particularly Michael Jeter's character, who have been condemned to die for terrible crimes, as incredibly humane and hinged characters. The real villain is Doug Hutchison's Percy, who has to be one of the most despicable, hated characters in film history.

Despite the overall positivity of the piece, it can be fairly grim stuff. The subject matter becomes increasingly dark, sometimes shocking, which ups the stakes and the drama by a couple of notches. The film confronts you with the worst of human life, and gives us a light at the end of the tunnel in John Coffey. However, there is no real message or morality tale here, if nothing else it seems to be simply that bad things can happen to good people, and that magic would be cool if it actually existed. It wasn't a tale of personal triumph like Shawshank, this is just a fairytale, but you have to say, a very good one. But, when would you really be in the mood to watch it again?

8/10