Chatroom (2010)

The dangers of the online world is s subject cinema is taking to like a wildfire ( see the 2008 thriller Untraceable for example) and I can see why. The new dimension of knowing people without meeting them, talking to people you can't hear, as well as the ability to be whoever you want to be with little to no comeuppance, is as intriguing as it is worrying. Put simply, you don't know who's out there.

With that said, how does Japanese director Hideo Nakata (Of Ring, Ring 2 and Dark Water fame) handle this London based story of 5 late teens meeting online for mischief, fun, and much, much more?

The story of young William (Kick-Ass's Aaron Johnson) an intelligent and extremely computer literate young man who may or may not have other motives, setting up the non-descript group "Chelsea Teens" leads us into the online world. Literally. Each of the 5 members of the titular "Chatroom" is seen sitting at the computer, or typing on their phone, inter-cut with their online persona,who looks and sounds like them, yet whenever we're in this online plane, there is always this unreal quality to it, completely removing it from the real world. While it sounds very Matrix-esque, it's used in such a subtle way that it serves the story very well, and gives us a physical distinction between the 2 worlds.

Hidden motives unravel and the relationship between the bunch starts to degrade into a dark, sinister and slightly disturbing sequence of events telling us the moral implications and the dangers of meeting people you aren't actually meeting.

While I seem to be singing mostly praises the film does have it's flaws, some of the scenes of the group sitting on seats in a circle felt like a drama class workshop, as well as the (mostly Channels 4's SKINS alumni) cast sometimes not pitching the right level of performance to the particular scene, these are nit-picks though as the film is actually rather brilliant.

Conclusion? Well, there aren't enough British helmed, financed and set films made to this calibre, though there was a Japanese director on board, the film felt very much reflective of the current wave of young and talented UK film makers/students, and I only hope to see many more to this standard, as a film being set in familiar surroundings is infinately more comforting than just another American yarn. This essentially is the movie that The Social Network SHOULD have been, but wasn't. 9/10.

Burlesque (2010)

Titillating, Charming, Fun, fast and sexy. All of those things describe Burlesque, that is, the style and subculture, not the 2010 film starring early 2000's flavour of the month Christina "Xtina" Aguilera and pop legend Cher.

I could go in to detail of the plot, however it's just one you've seen a thousand times, just a small town girl, living in lonely world took the midnight train to L.A. where she unbelievingly talks herself into working for a financially unsuccessful (Dispite it always being full of clients and customers) "Burlesque club". Not quite the urban fairytale you've heard before? well that's because under the façade of the music and Caberet style of REAL Burlesque, a rose tinted glance at New York and Chicago club dancers and showgirls, this film slips 2 pop stars into the mix and tells you it's stylish.

There is an element where I must confess that being a guy watching this doesn't help, but is that an excuse? surely a movie with such subject matter would offer some cheap thrill titillation, tongue in cheek glimpses of the female anatomy that manages to entertain the guys while not being smutty right? RIGHT? Well. No. With young Xtina having not much of a shape to her and Cher overdoing the plastic surgery, plus none of the extra cast members being anything special to look at either (though pretty in their own way) this film wasn't very sexy at all, just imitation glamour.

So another forgettable "little girl in big LA" story giving musicals a bad name, we are desperate for the new Rocky Horror, Chicago or Hedwig and the Angry Inch, until one of those comes along, this movie has spoilt my appetite for musicals for a little while.

Conclusion? Avoid at all costs,Cher is well and truly over the hill and Christina's charatcter just isn't likeable enough. It pains me to say that if you want glitz and glamour, go watch Sex In The City, though not my cup of tea it knew what it was doing, and was harmless to everything not in the genre, where as this piece takes the guise of a beloved subculture as well as being a musical, and while I cannot say that Cher and Aguilera are bad singers, the songs in the film are dull and repetitive, hoping the more they say "Burlesque" the more the film will BE Burlesque. Untrue. 2/10

TRON Legacy

Tron Legacy is a perfect example of lazy plotting and style over substance.

The film is undeniably pretty. It's dark landscapes, neo-punk nightclubs, impressively designed vehicles and ships that looks like something out of a Star Wars spin off. The action scenes are mostly impressive too, well directed, and mostly make some good use of the 3D format. But I'm not really impressed by that. I'm not really impressed by how much money a production company has thrown at a film. That does not up my opinion of it, especially when there are so many 'pretty CGI' films out there nowadays.

If the film did not have any of the aesthetics, it would be a boring, nonsensical mess that I'm surprised even fans of the original have any time for. Despite everything else being pretty, CGI Jeff Bridges will have to go down in infamy as one of the worst pieces of CGI since The Rock in The Mummy Returns. I mean, what were they thinking? The mouth barely moved when he spoke, the expressions just looked awkward, and what they ended up with was something that barely looked human, let alone like a young Jeff Bridges. It was a constant distraction, and as a result, I could not take the character of CLU seriously.

But what excuses the rest? There was an awful lot of coincidental nonsense in the film, especially towards the end. I can't really go in to it without ruining it, but it was akin to a badly written wrestling storyline. A inexplicable face turn, sudden use of superpowers, and really stupid bad guy behaviour. Long, wordy sequences pass by between the characters when they try to explain and justify the silly storyline, involving the last of a race of beings that could solve every human problem if brought in to the real world. It was never really explained how this might happen, or why Flynn knew this. It's just all very poor, and should not be anywhere near two hours in length.

Something for the kids, but why an adults are wasting their time with this is beyond me.

3/10

The Tourist

The Tourist is the tale of criminal person Angelina Jolie, attempting to pass off Johnny Depp as a non-criminal person in order to throw off the cops. As a premise, it's fine.

The film undoubtedly stylish. As a host, Venice doesn't have to do much to sparkle, and is actually the film's major strength. It's ceaselessly beautiful, which is a welcome distraction from an occasionally mediocre plot. Johnny Depp's understated, often cooky performance is enjoyable for the most part. Angelina Jolie is fine too, despite the fact her journey in to being typecast is almost complete with yet another femme fatale under her minute belt. The action sequences are few and far between, leaving a lot of time for a heap of slow moving, hammy pieces of dialogue between the two leads. At times, it feels as though you're watching a rather well done perfume commercial rather than a spy thriller.

It's hard to know what else to say about this film without giving the game away, but the last ten minutes of the film make it a lot more enjoyable as a whole than the rest of the film had up until that point.

6/10

The Warriors Way (2010)

Asian Cinema meets western Cinema. No seriously, that's what it is, and unlike the complete shit-fest "comedies" starring Owen Wilson and Jackie Chan (Shang High Noon and Shang High Knights) they manage to get some humour in there without making me want to slap a baby.

The film is about Yang, a ninja (naturally) who has all but eliminated the enemy clan single handedly, until he finds the last of them. A baby girl. This causes him to turn tail and decide he wants to stop killing people (and a stupidly over the top, yet disgustingly epic way). On the run from his own clan now, he heads west.. Far.. Far into the west, into the wild west in fact, where he winds up in a town of mis-fits and ex circus freaks. HE FITS RIGHT IN! the entire second half (or middle chunk as I affectionately call it) is literally its own film.

In it we're introduced to Lynne (Kate Bosworth) and told of her back-story, her anguish, and who her antagonist is (Two main bad guys?). Her story is resolved in time for Yang to resolve his, in a way that feels as if (First Time) Director Sngmoo Lee just cut a ninja film in half, stuck a short western between the two halves and called it a three piece set.

Needless to say it doesn't really work, but that doesn't stop us having fun along the way. With hints of influence from Wild Wild west, to 300, to Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, and even Kung Pow, as well as every Ninja Anime ever made. It's visually stunning with its entirely CG backdrop (creating a surreal and unique environment, visa ve 300 and Sin City) and gloriously gory with it's beautifully choreographed fight scenes that, frankly, we could have seen more of.

Overall, good (if not overused) concept of "man trying to escape his past but something always gets in the way" but it wasn't particularly inspired, it could have been made better if Korean actor Jang Dong-gun had a facial expression other than "soulful contemplation". A more apt title would have been Coboys vs. Ninjas. 4/10.

The American (2010)

Ever want to see what Jason Bourne would be doing in his mid/late 40's?. Me either.
But let's say for arguments sake you did, you'd probably LOVE The American, starring one George Clooney as a custom firearm manufacturer trooping about Europe.

This unfortunately is another American film that thinks just because it's set predominantly in Eurpoean country, that it's a European film. While the beautiful Italian countryside shots (and for that matter, Beautiful Italian Women) keep your eyes wanting more, the story leads you DEMANDING more. the Term "slow burner" comes to mind while we go from "not much happening" to "some stuff's happening" back to "nothings happening" until we get to see George in a (kinda) sex scene. Not as much fun as you'd think.

While Mr Clooney does manage to convey a "been there, done that" sensibility to the performance (in a more grown up way than The Expendables) the whole feature still feels dry, and lacking a momentous and poignant conclusion I felt it was set up to be, instead we get a "so-so" final act where shit goes down and I feel neither uplifted nor deflated.

Clooney is on top form, can't doubt that, but this feature hardly keeps my on tippy toes for a huge resurgence in his career. Italian tits and custom guns make this a tantalising "manly" enough feature while picnics in the sun and George Clooney hold enough draw for women. I think. 5/10

Monsters (2010)

Sci Fi "end of the world" tales in Hollywood have been stretched so, so thin in the first century of the silver screen's existence. War Of the Worlds, Independence Day, It Came From Outer Space. Many setting (or inventing) the bar at which others must measure. Of course, with improved special effects came great possibilities to bring to us creatures from another world in a more believable way, the biggest and perhaps most vital tool leant to Science Fiction in cinema is CGI, a useful and expensive tool that has helped us cross the galaxy, see fully functioning, independently moving "non-puppet" aliens and enter extraordinary space ships. Before now it has been saved fore the elite, many directors getting the wrong end of the stick and trying so hard to get a beautiful image that they forget about substance and depth of story. Monsters, the ultra low budget (£320,000) 2010 sci-fi feature, is not part of that category.

It is, infact a journey that deals with how humans intereact with the world around them in extra-ordinary circumstances, and a very tangiable story of how human relationships develope during harsh times.

It isn't quite perfect though, Director/Cinematographer/Writer Gareth Edwards went uber-guerilla on this thing, shooting on location without permission and veering heavily from the script almost constantly. While it all makes a more realistic experience in an unrealistic setting, the loose reigns have let what could have been a huge middle finger to the larger studios (who readily invest $20-100 million for its summer blockbusters) wonders too far off course.

Sit in awe as this shoe string budgeted film hold up against its $100m+ counterparts,both in style and visual effects. But expect a plot that doesn't make a world of sense and doesn't stick strongly enough to a coherent story. A great first step and definitely worth at least your attention. 6/10